A Little Surprise Along the Way

I suppose that with deliveries you shouldn't just be able to say, "This is my plan." But I had one. This week was all set. Monday last iron IV infusion (went well, iron is now at an "acceptable level"). Then Tuesday I had a short OB appt, would come home and finish getting all prepared for my Mom to come, pick her up from the airport, finish getting things ready for the hospital, have a nice night with the family, and Wednesday morning would come in for the induction. Well, I went to my appt this morning and my blood pressure is high and there is protein in my urine, which are signs of pre-eclampsia. "Miss Cox, " Says Dr. Watts, "You just don't like to go by the book, do you?" If you have pre-eclampsia with one pregnancy you usually have it with all of them but I've had no problems before. So, this is a bit out of the ordinary.

Anywho...she had me come over to the hospital where I thought I'd probably just be monitored for a little while, do a few tests, and leave. Six hours later and I'm still here. Lila looks great. My blood pressure's a bit high. Waiting on some more tests. Its funny because normally I think I'd be anxious to stay and get going with things, but this time I feel like I'd really like to go home and pack my bag and take my kids to Yogurtville for Spirit night for their school and sleep in my bed. Oh well. How can I complain? I'm not. I'm just saying this is how its working out and the later it gets the more likely it is that they'll keep me. And I especially have nothing to complain about because I have such wonderful people taking care of me. Allison was watching Finn for me, then my visiting teacher came over and Allie came here to the hospital and she brought me lunch and stayed with me all day. Catherine picked up the kids from school and got Miles and now they are all at home. Chancho went to get my Mom and will take her home then come see me. Everybody is just being so good and kind and great to me and why should I complain about lying in bed? Okay, so just happiness now.

Happy Lila Eve. :) I'm sure she's not going to be born before midnight. I think they're only going to do cervidil tonight and then not start pitocin til tomorrow and for now my contractions are just sporadic. Hopefully all will go well tomorrow and I will be able to tell you all about my baby girl!

"Now Matter How Long the Winter...

....Spring is sure to follow" is such a great proverb, isn't it? Usually it is most touching to me when it is not literal but figurative--after a difficult trial is conquered. But it also fits for the actual first day of Spring! For us, this has been a very short winter, and we are absolutely loving our first Texas spring. I will try hard not to complain when my Utahn-beloveds are enjoying a nice cool day in June and I am standing with my face in the freezer for some relief from the heat.

Today it started out overcast and in the 60s. I had the windows open and a nice breeze blew through the white curtains in the front room. By the time the kids came home from school I had to shut up the house and turn on the air conditioner. I'm sure I could have survived the balmy 84 degrees, but I preferred not.

In the later afternoon we asked the M family to join us for a Springtime activity that I came up with in celebration of this day--a Signs of Spring Photo Scavenger Hunt. I quickly typed up a list of things that needed to be found and photographed. There were items that needed to be checked off such as: something pink, something yellow, something creeping up out of the ground, something happy, something wet, etc. We split the kids into teams and sent them off. We just let them loose in about a two block area and I was so thrilled to see what they found! Bia and Deedle were on a team with her Hello Kitty camera. Regrettably I can't find the software to be able to upload the photos to my computer.

String Cheese and LM were on a team and came up with these master pieces:



GM, Loumy, and MM were on a team. These were some of my favorite shots:

I'm not sure what the rocks in Loumy's hand represented--they may have been an extra--but its definitely my favorite shot! If it doesn't say "kindergarten boy on a spring day", then I don't know what does. Plus he just has beautiful hands.

What do you think? I think I loved seeing this first Texas spring of ours through children's eyes. And I think I'm going to have to come up with more photo scavenger hunt ideas. Feel free to share any because the kids had such a great time and I loved seeing the results!

P.S. If you have your kids do something like this, make sure to teach them how to use the macro button for close up shots. String Cheese and LM had the inferior camera by far but with just a few little tips, they came up with amazing stuff!

Baby Boy Has a Birthday

Dear Finn,

I can hardly believe that you are two years old! My, the time has gone quickly! Much has happened in these past two years since you were just a little 3 pound babe in the incubator (your baby sister, whose still in my tummy, already weighs over twice what you were at birth!).

You had a happy day for your birthday. The kids, as you call them, were SO excited. They spent days in preparation. Luckily it is Spring Break right now so they had little else to think about. I think Deedle was the most excited. The day before your birthday we were doing some shopping and I think she told at least 10 strangers that you were turning two.

SC and Deedle both spent their own money to buy your presents from Dollar Tree that they thought you'd like. Loumy chose some of his very nicest toys that you love and they all wrapped them for you. SC gave you a coloring book and your own "colors" aka crayons. Deedle bought you two little cars. Loumy gave you two of his Kung Zhu pets with their armor. They had these presents wrapped several days before your birthday.

The night before your birthday, we put you down to bed first, then hung up the posters they had made for you and blew up balloons all by themselves (I just had to tie them).

When you woke on your birthday morning, they immediately started treating you like the special boy. While Dad and I still slept, they put you in your high chair and fed you yogurt and cereal. They played with you on the trampoline and you were so happy to be the center of attention. Although the truth is, when they are home, they always treat you with so much love and attention!

We went to the park and played. It rained a bit but was fun until you bashed your top lip at the bottom of a slide.
On Monday, as Dad was leaving for work you said, "See ya, Daddy!" Then added, "Chockit (chocolate)? Chockit, Daddy?" He has been rewarding the kids if they are "super reverant" during Sacrament Meeting. He will bring them home a chocolate bar on Monday after work. This past Sunday was definitely not a "super reverant" Sunday, so there was no talk of chocolate. Dad thought it was so funny that you would suddenly remember that he sometimes brings home chocolate to the kids (I think its been twice), that you would request it as he went out the door. So, for your birthday he brought you home your very own chocolate bar. It was really good. And then it wasn't.

We had presents and cake and ice cream. You love to feed yourself with a spoon or fork. Except for getting your lip smashed, chocolate in the eye, and a diaper rash that needed tending to, I think your second birthday was a happy day.Deedle made you a Birthday Crown about two weeks in anticipation of the day and you wore it proudly.

As you sat in your high chair, eating your cake, I just kept filming you, hoping to never forget that moment. I feel so SO blessed that the Lord gave you to us to raise and be a part of our family. None of us would be the same with out you. You are a dear, dear boy! I use that term "dear" because dearness just exudes from you. At the grocery store or wherever we are, you just have to smile at a stranger or say a small "hewwo" to them and they melt. I can't tell you how many times I have heard stranger say, upon just meeting you, "That is one dear boy you've got there." Thank Heavens for Baby Finn. I just can't imagine eternity or happiness with out you!

Love,

Mom-mom-mommy (as you often call me)

Anemia

So, this may not be of interest to anybody else, but I found what I learned while at my appointment today quite fascinating. First of all, I found it very interesting that I was a bald woman at an Oncology clinic but I didn't have cancer. Or at least everybody else there found it interesting.

It was also interesting that my nurse happened to be from Utah. Upon further investigation, found out that her ex-boyfriend from high school served in San Antonio on his mission and we actually knew each other well while serving down on the border in Del Rio. Even more interesting, one of her best friends is Brandy Knowles, married to Jeff Knowles, who of course just lives right down from Kelly and is in Chris and Priscilla's ward and all!

Regarding the Anemia due to Iron Deficiency, I thought I would just need the one treatment but the doctor says I need at least four, preferrably six, IV treatments before the baby is born to get me back up to even the lowest acceptable level. The treatment burned a bit going into the vein, but it did not make me feel sick or anything. I think I have a little more energy tonight and I'm definitely feeling more upbeat (don't know if that is incidental or not, but I was very patient with the kids and every thing else tonight). And I shouldn't have any of the side effects that often accompany trying to absorb iron taken orally.

Here is what interested me most. In the post about pregnancy where I said how I was so in love with Finish tablets, I wrote more about how if I loved them so much I would marry them, but I'm already married, and that I want to eat them and feel the chalky-ness under my teeth and I want to crush the chalky-crumbly, tablets in my hand and rub them all over my face. But then I erased that because it sounded way too bizarre. Instead I just said that I loved the smell and also that I'm addicted to Tums and Bottle Caps. Well...wouldn't you know it...I'm not just bizarre. This condition has a name! Pica. I need chalkiness and it is because of the iron deficiency! Looking at the picture of the Finish tablet and this colorful chalk makes me feel happy but also kind of crazy because I truly have the strongest desire to just chomp right into them. I really hope I can get my iron up and have this go away because I'm creeping myself out.

Baby/Pregnancy Update

Things are going so well for baby Lila. Last week I had another "major" ultrasound to check on her and she is doing great! She is now well over 6 pounds and is definitely the most active baby I've had at this stage. There is plenty of fluid but I still haven't gained tons of weight (compared to my others). One problem with me is that the mild anemia I've dealt with my other pregnancies and during this one is now "severe" anemia and its definitely contributing to much fatigue. I got a call from my dr this morning and I will go to a hematologist today for an iron IV infusion. Hopefully that will help. She said if it doesn't, I could very easily need a blood transfusion after delivery. Hm...that doesn't sound great. The good news about this to me is that I don't feel so wimpy. At least there is a reason why I feel so crummy, besides just being pregnant, and maybe this infusion tomorrow will actually give me some energy and help me feel well. We'll see.

I recently purchased a dresser on craig's list that I sanded and painted for Lila. It will be a changing table as well as hold all her stuff. SC was really excited to help me wipe out all of the drawers and put in the clothes that I had washed. She is a great girl and will be a lot of help to me.

I am curious to see if the heartburn/amount of hair of the baby connection proves true with Lila or not. I had it bad with SC and Finn and they both had quite a bit of hair. I did not have much with Deedle and she was mostly bald. With this one...she should have a luscious head of hair for the heartburn/reflux I've been going through! I pop Tums like they're going out-of-style and take other OTC meds that the doc has approved, but am still often up at night, propped on pillows, sipping ice water to ease the symptoms.

I could take or leave chocolate but must have my Bottle Cap candies.

I feel nearly intoxicated with joy as I smell the wrapper after opening a "Finish" dishwashing detergent tablet.

I think the fatigue has me worried more than usual about the energy I will need to care for an infant. After Finn came home from the hospital, I really just let myself bask in the happiness of baby. SC was in all-day school, Deedle half a day and Loumy went 3 mornings per week, so those times I did nothing but feed or hold the baby. The "kids", of course, still needed plenty of attention, but they entertained themselves a lot and I did not have to do things like dress them or brush their teeth for them. I thought Finn was my last baby and I really just tried to enjoy every minute of it. Of course I should have done that with each of my babies. But now I admit that I am a little frightened. Finn still often wakes in the night. He adores the older kids and they are SO good to him. I know he's not an infant. But I worry about him feeling neglected by me when the kids are at school all day and, well, I'm exhausted now and worry about double-baths and double-diaper changes. The thing I keep forgetting and have to remind myself, is that I am going to fall in love with this baby, too. I keep having this thought come to me, whenever I feel overwhelmed, "You are so silly! You are so in love with this child, you just don't know it yet. Soon you will not be able to imagine life before her and we will just get into your routine and everything will be fine." And also...fixing my blood so that I can function with out feeling like I'm constantly going to pass out will be good, too.

Deedsy sachets her way into the living room wearing a small, brown tank top, her skinny jeans, and black cow-girl boots. She stops in front of the couch where Chanch and I are sitting.

"Honey, can you go put on your pjs?" I ask.

"Yeeaaah," she sighs. "I guess I'll just do my push-ups later."

Push-ups? We're both so stunned that all I can stutter out is, "ok."

Pregnancy Angles

Today was a rough day. It started by not being able to sleep in the early am due to heart burn or reflux and nausea. Then Loumy had a "hurting foot" that needed massaging about 3:30am. Finn woke and was hungry about 5am. Kids all whined and cried at 6:45am because they didn't want to get up (except Loumy. He never complains in the morning. He's the best for sure of any of us in the morning!). I felt awful. Deedle begged to stay home. She promised to let me relax and would play with Finn. I was sorely tempted but forced myself to say that wasn't the right thing to do. But then, while trying to make toast for the kids, I couldn't find my little, vintage, metal cinnamon container that I saved from Chancho's grandma and use to mix cinnamon and sugar. The kids had been complaining that we were out a few days earlier and I was sure they'd thrown it away. I started to cry. Haha. Then I found it. But I kept on crying while I filled the kids water bottles, brushed hair, etc. I'll blame it on the hormones. I felt sorry for myself that I am sick and pregnant and uncomfortable and that Finn wouldn't let me just go back to sleep. I started letting dark thoughts come into my mind like, "Why does God think I can handle another baby? I can't! I'm too tired!" Super silly, I know, but sometimes these are early morning kinds of thoughts.

It took a little while, but I finally decided to pull myself out of my sorriness and look at the pregnancy from another angle.

There are these angles.

And then there are the angles where I think about how lucky I am that Lila is cooking inside my tummy, just under my heart instead of struggling in an incubator, or, worse, in an orphanage.

Then a completely different angle came to my mind--an image that kind of surprised me but has sustained me all day. I thought about my Great Grandmother Alice. I never met her, but I know my mother adored her. Alice had 15 children. FIFTEEN. Her husband was an apostle. So, he had to have been very busy. Here she is with her husband, George, and 12 of their children. How often did she sleep? What about babies in cloth diapers? No dishwasher? What about a microwave? What about a clothes washer and dryer? My mom tells me that when people asked how she was able to spread her love to so many children, she would tell them that she didn't have to, that they brought more love with them.

All today I just kept thinking about her and wondering where she pulled her strength from just to keep up with the sheer amount of work it would take to keep that many children fed and clothed. But she not only did it, she did it well. One of her daughters is my amazing grandmother, Edna. One her sons also became an apostle and has influenced hundreds of thousands of lives for good (Legrand Richards). She also held influential church callings, including that of the first temple matron of the Salt Lake City temple, and others where she devoted great amounts of time and service to others. But today I just kept thinking about her sweet face I've seen in photos and imagined her surrounded by her children and how she must have just created her own strength, pressed forward, and endured--WELL and GRACIOUSLY.

What a miracle and a blessing it is to know something of our family who has gone before us. Perhaps there are many more things that Alice would like to be remembered for other than the fact that she had the strength to carry, give birth to, and nurture 15 children. But thinking of her doing that was my salvation today.

Doctrine & Covenants 128: 15 "And now, my dearly beloved brethren and sisters, let me assure you that these are principles in relation to the dead and the living that cannot be lightly passed over, as pertaining to our salvation. For their salvation is necessary and essential to our salvation, as Paul says concerning the fathers—that they without us cannot be made perfect—neither can we without our dead be made perfect."