The Brothers

With Deedle in school every morning and String Cheese in all day, Loumy and Finn have the opportunity to spend more time focusing on each other. Loumy is such a great older brother. He is always concerned if he hears Finn crying and he will entertain him tirelessly for long amounts of time. Loumy will just talk and coo and play and show him toys to keep him happy. These two really love each other. Finn is always so happy to see Loumy. I hope and pray that their bond will only grow stronger through the years.

What Am I Supposed to Do?

This is not a hypothetical question. This is a question that I have been asking the Lord for the last 72 hours every chance I get. Because I have no doubt I'm supposed to do something and only God knows what it is or how.

Some of you may have read a post that I wrote back in January. In this post I told a story about meeting two "street boys" in Haiti (last October) and the impact that the generosity of one of them had on me. I have not been able to put this boy out of my mind. I think I asked his name, but I don't remember it. But his face is often with me. I have thought many times about the short experience I had while meeting him and the impact it has had on me. I have also felt a pain in my heart whenever I have thought of "my street boy" (well, to Kelly I refer to him as "our street boy"). It was painful to feel that this child entered my life, made an impression, and then left with out me having a chance to do anything for him. Kelly gave him her trail mix and we gave them a little money and then they were gone. We didn't know what else to do. And I have always felt some regret in my heart. It's strange because there are so many children in Haiti that need help, but sometimes a certain situation just touches you and a connection is made, for whatever reason. Whenever I thought about my street boy I would feel sad knowing that I would never see him again and would never know what became of him.

While in Haiti last October we took a couple of donated digital cameras to our coordinators in hopes that they could figure out how to use them and could send us updated photos of the kids in our program from time to time. A couple of weeks ago I made specific request that they send me photos of some of the children I hadn't seen in quite some time and felt a little worried about. On Tuesday I received the photos of 7 kids in our program. What a joy it was to see Samantha...
andI truly love these children and was happy to see photos of them to know that they are okay.

But then...there was another photo..was just marked "photo" because the boy didn't have a name. And he's not a boy in our program. The photo was sent "by accident". I gasped when I saw it. Then I just sat kind of in shock. Maybe this isn't him, I thought. He doesn't look exactly like the photo I have of him. But I had recognized him immediately, hadn't I? I sent the photo to Kelly and simply asked, "Do you recognize this boy?" She wrote back and said, "Yeah, is he still on the street?" She, too, immediately knew who this "mystery" child in the "accidental" photo was. It is our street boy. But how? After nearly an entire year, in a city of 2,000,000 people, with an estimated 10,000 street children...how does one of my coordinators take a photo of him and "accidentally" send it to me? All kinds of thoughts are coming to my mind...the place where these photos are taken looks a lot like the park across the street from the hotel where we stayed in October. Did our coordinator ask the children to meet her there for photos? She lives near there. It is very possible. Does my street boy stay in or near that park? Did he see kids congregating and decide to come see what was going on? Did he see them all getting their photo taken and want his taken as well? Did she take it just to be nice? Has she seen this boy around? Did she have any reason behind taking the photo other than the fact that whenever a camera comes out in Haiti the kids usually like to come around to see their image on the digital screen? How did this possibly happen? How did my street boy's photo suddenly appear in my mailbox? The more I wondered about the craziness of this "coincidence" the more I felt a peace come to my heart telling me that I was being given a second chance. For whatever reason, the connections that Kelly and I made with this boy are not coincidental. And it is no coincidence that his photo ended up in my inbox this week. That thought brought me joy. But also more questions. I called Isson and told him about this. He was in just as much shock and awe as I was and said, "The Lord works in mysterious ways..." He is going to call our coordinators tomorrow to ask how and why they took this photo. And in the meantime, I am going to continue to pray. I do not want to live with any regret. My street boy is now not just another child I met in Haiti. How could he be? I just don't believe it. Do you?

If any of you feel like offering up prayers on this boy's behalf, it would be much appreciated--and on my behalf that I will be able to receive the inspiration necessary to know what I am supposed to do. I promise that once I find out, I WILL DO IT.

Six Months Old

Finn is now six months old. It is pretty hard for me to believe. He has just thrived so amazingly. What a good little soldier boy!!! At his well-child checkup with his uncle John he weighed in at 16 pounds 10 ounces. He is 26 cm. tall. He is now Capt. Average in size, which is pretty darned amazing!!! (If any of you are just tuning in to my blog, Finn only weighed 3#8oz at birth) I love his chubby cheeks. He still continues to have such a sweet and mild demeanor. He is still definitely a "giver". The other day we were grocery shopping and he was in his carseat in the cart. It was getting late and he was tired and hungry. In the checkout line I heard a woman behind me whisper to her partner, "Watch this. Watch what this baby will do when I smile at him." She gave Finn a big smile and he flapped his arms and smiled back. Both the women giggled. Finn just can't stop himself. If somebody smiles at him he just must give back to them something for their efforts.

In other big baby news, Finn cut his first two teeth (middle, bottom) this past week. Also, his wrists and ankles recently disappeared.

Finn is getting quite good at using his hands. He loves baby toys more than any of my children have. They totally fascinate him and he concentrates so hard on reaching for them and shaking them or pulling them to his mouth. He sets his mouth in a tiny little "o" and narrows his eyebrows and sometimes quivers a little in anticipation and concentration. I love watching him.

Another thing I love is when I come in to get him out of bed after a nap or in the morning. His mouth is in a big permanent O smile and his eyebrows are raised as high as they can go as if seeing me is the most joyful thing he could ever have imagined. He makes me feel like I am the best thing in the entire world. I love my baby. I don't know if I ever mentioned that on this blog yet or not, but I am really smitten with him. :)

Freedom Is Killer

My brother Chris has a good friend who is now a friend of all of our family. JG has been through a lot and had a lot of problems, but he has conquered a lot and I am very proud of him. Even during difficult times, he made us laugh a lot. He lived at my parents home for awhile and there we have several sayings that he originated which still make us laugh decades later (for those of you who know, think things like "old head ache", "my area" and the title of this post). For better or worse, JG spent time in and out of the clink. I remember feeling very sad if I was ever one to answer a call from him from the "inside". He one time said, about not liking to be in jail, followed by one of his classic laughs, "Freedom is killer."

Well, that was a nice little memory of JG, but this post is really about sugar. On July 23rd I decided that I was sick of sugar having any power over me.

Mosiah 3: 19

"19 For the ^anatural ^bman is an ^cenemy to God, and has been from the ^dfall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he ^eyields to the enticings of the Holy ^fSpirit, and ^gputteth off the ^hnatural man and becometh a ⁱsaint through the atonement of Christ the Lord."

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that sugar in and of itself is evil or that anybody else is evil for eating it. But for me, I felt that I was addicted. It was hard for a day to go by with out me having some kind of sugary treat. Despite knowing that sugar:

• Depresses your immune system
• Elevates triglyceride levels
• Interferes with your body’s natural chemistry
• Raises your insulin level
• Promotes obesity
• Can contribute to depression
• Increases the risk of diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure and cholesterol
• May lead to chromium and copper deficiencies
• Raises adrenaline levels
• Promotes tooth decay

I still couldn't get a hold of myself. I had especially gotten into the habit of using sugar as a reward at the end of a hard day.

Anyway, I felt the spirit whispering to me that I needed to take control of my life...so I did. I have refused to obsess about it. I have lost 22 pounds and am grateful for that because I needed to lose that (and more) to be healthy. But I am not focusing on the weight loss or my appearance, rather am trying to focus on the spiritual benefits of not having physical things bind me down in any way.

The first few weeks were rough. But when I thought about wanting something and resisted, I would think about when you are running or lifting weights and push yourself hard, knowing you are getting stronger. I would flex my will-power/spiritual muscles and get through it.

I believe in moderation in all things. I have decided that Sunday is the day I will allow myself a sweet if I want one. Also, holidays have fun traditions involving sweets (birthday cakes, Thanksgiving pie, etc) so I will partake if I feel like it.

I now very rarely have any cravings for sweets and when I did make brownies for the kids on Sunday and had a small one, it made me totally nauseated (although it tasted great going down). I am feeling stronger and more confident and I know that it is because I have conquered something difficult and freed myself from something that had a strong hold on me. And I'll tell you, JG is right, freedom IS killer.

Pot of Gold

Hey, look what's at the end of the rainbow. It's home! I think I already knew that. I try not to think about what my "dream home" might be anymore. It used to be fun to ponder on that, but I prefer not to even do that any more because it usually ends up with me feeling less happy with my current circumstances. In truth, I am extremely blessed and love my home--especially because of the people who reside in it!

A New Friend

The other day the kids were coming down the hall as I was working on the computer and String Cheese announced, "Mom! Guess who came over to play?" I was not thrilled that a friend had come over to play unannounced--just tired and all that, you know. But to my surprise (and great joy of the kids in tricking me), it was just the girls' new friend "Britney." And yes, I shall save these photos with other blackmail photos I have for future use.


Truth be told, I don't know that Loumy loves being dressed as a girl, but he definitely reveled in the undivided attention his sisters were showing him.

Hot Chick

Today we had Loumy's good little buddy, Kole, over to play until he went to kindergarten in the afternoon. He is Deedle's age and they also enjoy playing together. I tuned in to the middle of a conversation as they were waiting for me to get them some lunch.
Kole: She's a hot chick.
Loumy: Who is?
Kole: Her! (pointing to Deedle) She's a hot chick.

A few minutes later as we sat down for pb&j, I asked, "So, Kole, is Deedle a hot chick?"
He shrugged and looked over at her, "She is...if she wants to be."
Deedle nonchalantly responds, "And I do."

And that was that.

Here is the silly girl on her first day of kindergarten. Cute? Definitely! Hot? I prefer not to think of her with that word. Hot-headed perhaps. But to be "hot", don't you at least have to be a teenager?

A New Trick

Awesome Video

A friend recently said that they stop by my blog when they feel like crying. Great. That is not supposed to be the point of my blog. I will try to write more things that make people laugh. If you watch this video you might cry. But you shouldn't. Remember what Didi Ananda Ruchiri said? " To have compassion isn't the same thing as sympathy or pity. Pity will break your heart. Compassion will open it." So, don't cry and feel heartbroken, rather, allow your heart to open. We all feel heartbroken by the pain in the world from time to time. We wouldn't be human if we didn't. But as you open your heart, you will feel joy in giving and in knowing that you are doing your best to make a difference to somebody. That doesn't always have to mean money. There are so many ways to help in this world and to advocate for children.

This video is put out by the Joint Counsel for International Children's Services. They mostly advocate adoption. I love adoption and have a special passion for international adoption. I am very touched by this video and hope that others will be as well. Adoption can be the answer for some children and families. Also, there are so many people who do want to help orphaned children through adoption but are caught in a seemingly endless process of jumping through hoops--often flaming hoops held by corrupt individuals. It is all worth it and I continue to pray for families in the midst of difficult adoption processes and I laud the efforts of organizations working to change these processes and improve the quality of life for orphans everywhere. But the reason why I truly believe in education and am focused on that in my personal endeavors is because I believe that if we could educate these children then we would begin to eliminate the number of orphans left or abandoned because of poverty, disease, corruption, etc.

Anywho...watch this short video. Its amazing.