Finn says...

I have no idea if anybody reading this is the least bit interested in the words of a two year old, but they are things I want to keep forever.  Maybe some of the things I write don't seem interesting or funny at all, but if you could see this chubby little face and know that a good deal of what he says is still garbled nonsense or his words get twisted, you'd be pretty impressed with some of the stuff he comes up with.

I'll ask him to do something and he is usually so agreeable.  His typical response is "okay" or "sure".  But sometimes he says no.  If you ask again, or sometimes even the first time, he firmly responds, "I said NO."

He also has heard my typical responses to many of the kids requests and tries them out on me.  He was standing precariously on a chair and putting his bunny in the microwave.  I asked him to please climb down.  First he told me, "I'm too busy.  Too busy!"  Then when I insisted he said, "No!  Too 'spensive. I too 'spensive, Mom."

A few days ago it was time for his nap.  He usually is happy to go down when its time and causes no fuss at all.  But occasionally he'll give a slight protest.  He was playing with something in my bathroom when I announced it was nap time.  "No, not right now."  He said nicely.  Nicely but firmly I replied that it was indeed time to stop his playing.  He turned to me and furrowed his brow, "You be rude to me, Mom.  You be SO rude to me."  "I'm not being rude to you honey," I said.  "I just want you to have a nap because you're very tired."  He thought for a minute then said, "It Lila.   Lila be rude to me.  Lila be rude.  Lila be sooooo rude to me."

A conversation from just now:

Me:  Get in your high chair and I'll make you a sandwich.
F: Get in high chair. Make jewwy samich.
Me: Climb on up.
F: I wanna cowder a peecher.
Me: We need to eat first.
F: Eat first.
Me: Would you like a jelly sandwich.
F: I wanna cowder a peecher.
Me: You can color a picture after breakfast. Are you hungry?
F: I gonna gu gu I not I am I hungy for dinner. Cummeer Mommy!  Cummeer Mommy!  Cummeer!
Me: I'm right here making your sandwich.
F: CUMMEEERRRRR! (I come right close to his high chair and he points at his bunny's face--whom he's been carrying around all morning).  Sumpeen on bunny's face. LOOK!  Sumpeen on bunny's face. (I pull a miniscule brown piece of lint off of bunny's face).  Ewwwww! Thank you, Mommy.  (Then in a high pitched voice, to bunny) There you go, bunny. There you go bunny. You wanna lie down?  You wanna lie down now?  Okay.  Here you go. (Then to me in normal voice) I put bunny down right here.  I have some yummy ham, Mommy?  I have some yummy ham?
Me:  I'm making you a jelly sandwich.
F: I want yummy ham.
Me:  Okay, after your sandwich you can have some yummy ham.
(having finished his sandwich)
F: I have some yummy ham, Mommy?  I have some yummy ham?  Yahoo.  Woohoo.  humuhummuhummu.
Me:  Here you go sweetheart.
F: Iss some turkeyss!  Iss some turkeysS!
Me: You are so smart.  We don't have any ham.  Is turkey okay?
F: YumyumyumYumYumyumyum.  (with a mouth full of turkey) I get down Mommy?  I get down?
Me:  Finish your turkey first.
F: Oooookay... I get I eat all turkey.  All turkey. I eat it.  I get down Mommy?
Me: Good job.  Let's wash your hands and face. (I do that and my most polite boy says)
F: THANK YOU MOMMY! (now down from his high chair).  I have chooo? I hab chooosees? (I stare quizzically and he stares back, not sure if he's communicated what he wants exactly.  He tries again.) I hab choos?  From fij?
Me:  Juice from fridge? (he beams)
F: Juice from fidge!

I wish I could just keep writing this conversation all day long and I'm sure it entertains none of you, but this little boy of mine is growing and learning so fast and nearly every single thing he does or says I just want to have imprinted on my brain forever.  He throws very few fits for a two-year-old, though he certainly has his moments.  And those I let slip from my mind very quickly because...well...I can only think of cliches about how they grow up so fast.  But now I am going to write something down and maybe actually writing it will make me not feel so sick about it.  Or maybe it will make it worse.  I am terrified of losing this boy.  It frightens me all of the time.  Would I be devastated if I lost any of my children? Of course!!!  But for some reason I don't really imagine it happening with the oldest like I do these two babies.  The thought comes to me often and I become sick with terror and have to immediately push it out of my mind.  Is it because they're babies and so vulnerable?  I don't know.  I always pray for protection and preservation of all of my children and I've had some scares with Andre and one in particular with Grace.  But, as I said, I just don't really have that worry with them.  I'm cautious and careful in my decisions to keep them safe of course.  But my mind isn't constantly worried that they might die.   Why the fear here?  I don't know.  I'm sure some of it stems from his rough start, the time he got trapped when his crib broke and he should have been strangled, also that Gardy was taken around this age and has never been returned and my friend Chareyl lost her son this past summer (though he was in his 20s).  I don't really know.  Maybe those are some of the reasons.  Maybe not.  I'm trying to conquer it and really just focus on the fact that yes, life is precious, so be happy and kind and enjoy every moment...and then not let the other part of it enter into my mind.  Sorry for having to spit that out.  Had to purge so as not too feel to anxious this morning.

Dear God, please please please please don't ever take one of my babies from me.