Miles Turns THREE!!!

Miles turned 3 years old on the 15th.  He really seemed to have a pretty good grasp that something very special was coming up just for him on that day and had been talking about it for several months.  The one gift he kept insisting that he wanted was a skateboard and we did not disappoint.  We kept things pretty small.  The kids were out of school for Spring Break. They had each spent some of their own money at Dollar Tree to choose some things for him.  Jason and I bought him the skateboard and a light saber.  We went to the park, bought french fries and chicken nuggets.  I did my best to make the cake he requested, "a football cake".  He was quite pleased with the outcome.  He would get very concerned when anybody asked him if he was "turning 3" or had "turned 3".  He knows that "to turn" means to "revolve" and he would angrily shout, "I not TURNING!"  But he seemed to understand if we'd just say, "You are 3 now!"  Here are several photos from his special day.

Tonight when I was giving Grace a kiss goodnight she told me that she loved me and we had a good snuggle time.  I told her I loved her more than anything in the world.   She asked, "More than Addie and Andre?"  I said, "I can't compare the love of one my children with another.  I love each of my children more than anything else I can possibly imagine."  And its true.  But its also true that the emotions evoked for each child are different and also change at different times.  I never love one MORE or LESS.  But with this little Miles...Oh boy.  I don't know how to describe it but when I think much about him the back of my eyes sting and my heart starts to hurt.  I am so happy but I am almost afraid at how much I adore this child.  I don't know if it has something to do with his extremely vulnerable start.  Maybe it was because for a time I thought that maybe we weren't going to have any more children after my illness.  I just get this sense sometimes that he almost wasn't and I can hardly bear the thought of it.