Thankful

"Why don't they call it 'giving thanks day'?"  Addie asked.  "It sounds so weird to say 'thanks-giving'."   She is always very literal and doesn't like it when things don't make what she assumes is the very most sense.

THANKSGIVING 2012

Today I hosted my very first Thanksgiving.  Never have I been in charge of what would be served at the meal, nor provided the place for it and, aside from the two Thanksgivings I spent as a missionary, I have always been surrounded by tons of family.  Even last year we spent it at Jason's aunt and uncles house and it was overflowing with love and family, and we simply brought a few items to add to the smorgasbord.

I wish I had my sister Nancy's ability to start writing about something she seems to just be beginning to feel or wonder and then beautifully, thoughtfully, and concisely share her conclusions that are always very enlightening.  I am quite positive that won't happen in this blog post.  But something magical happened today and I'm not exactly sure or why, I just know that it did.

Even if we'd only had our little family, it would seem like a fine sized Thanksgiving dinner for most of the world.  But that didn't feel like anything we've ever been accustomed to.  So, we invited Jason's cousin Casey (who recently moved to the area from New Mexico) and her family (husband and three children), the VerHoefs (an awesome family in our ward whom we love) and the missionaries.  There were 8 adults and 13 kids.  That felt a little more right.  As Thanksgiving was approaching I kept thinking I might get overwhelmed but instead I kept feeling kind of excited.  I'm sure it helped that the food was prepared and provided by all three families.  I took some time yesterday to shop and make my table look nice.  I thought, "This is my table.  I like it."  Addie and I made place cards because they were cute but also for me to keep track and not feel worried about where people would fit.  I arranged them on the table to view how it would work out and I thought, "This will be the perfect way to fit these people into my home.  I like it."  I rearranged some things and put up a few more pictures.  The kids were great at cleaning this morning and Grace helped me get some things that have been sitting in the living room since we moved in put away--or at least stored in a different spot until I can decide what I want to do.  I looked at my living room thought, "This is clean and spacious.  I like it."

Casey showed up at noon with her family to start cooking with us since they are currently renting an apartment with a very small kitchen.  And because, of course, it is nice to be together.  The elders and VerHoefs arrived around 3pm.  Everything went smoothly.  Elder Smith said every single thing to eat was the best thing he'd ever eaten (like he could even know that...or wait...maybe he could?).  Jason smoked two turkey breasts and the VerHoefs cooked a turkey in the ground and they were both magnificent.

Of course there was plenty of crying from babies, but mostly the kids got along very well and were so happy.  The colors on the trees have just now changed here in Texas and we had loveliness all around outside.  After dinner, as the kids jumped on the trampoline, the adults lounged about and it began to rain a little bit, although the clouds were only scattered.  A completely arc-ed double-rainbow appeared in the sky and the sun came through the evening sky somehow turning everything reddish pink. I commented on the lighting.  We all commented on the lighting.  It poured through the windows into the house with such a warmth.  I have rarely seen natural light like that.  It was all a bit surreal and magical.

Sarah (VerHoef) said to me, "Thank you so much for inviting us.  We loved being in your home.  Just the feeling here, with the music instead of loud football and the table and the company...I don't know, but Wes and I were just saying that there is such a nice feeling here and we've really loved it."  I felt that way too.  And I liked it very much.  Nobody was in a rush to leave so the kids played hide and seek, had baby races, played Clue, and occasionally hit each other with light sabres until nearly bedtime.

I have logically been able to tell myself that feeling "at-home" here is something that would just take some time and would come little by little.  I hadn't felt much of it in my heart--only the feeling that this is the place where we should be.  I don't know exactly what happened.  Maybe somewhere there is a "Guide to Feeling at Home for People Who Have Never Really Moved Away from Home".  Maybe there is an entire chapter on the importance of holding traditional holiday events in your new home with your own little family as the hosts instead of being tag-alongs at other homes to help you feel at home.  If not, maybe someday I will write that book.  Because somehow, having this day in my home with the 6 people who truly ARE home to me helped me take a huge step forward.  And for that I am so grateful.