Today (written yesterday)

I received some wonderful news today.

Several schools in our area did fundraisers this week for Haitian Roots. They called it "Hope for Haiti: Digging Deep". They raised a lot of money to help Haiti! Awesome!

An amazing pilot named Jake Yockers and his crew refused to leave the tarmac in Port au Prince this morning until the orphans he had come to bring home to their families in the US were on it. He told them they could arrest him but he wasn't leaving. Around 5:45pm 56 children, Chareyl, Brent, Scott, and other volunteers landed in Miami. What a miracle. It is still a headache processing paperwork, but they are on US soil and the children's parents are on their way to Miami, will have them in their arms tomorrow, and will be able to take them home within a few days. It truly is a miracle. I have been following the situation very closely for the past 10 days and it has been INTENSE. Read this.

I received an amazing phone call this afternoon. The ID said "unknown". I picked it up and I heard a beautiful woman's voice come through from a static line. "Alo?" My heart leapt, "Vivianne?" I nearly screamed. "Oui." A huge sigh of relief from me..........................................and a quick prayer of thanks to my Heavenly Father. We could only communicate briefly. I asked if she was okay, she said yes, she asked in Andre is doing well, I said very good. I said I was happy. Then we paused and she handed the phone over to somebody who spoke English. Our conversation then continued. She is safe. The two baby girls are safe. They lost their tiny home. It crumbled to pieces. They are living in the street. But she wanted me to know that she is okay. I said I love her. She said she loves me, too. I said that Isson is coming next week and he will send aid. Some people believe you shouldn't support your child's birth family in anyway because it could be misconstrued or it might encourage other people to give up their children--thinking that the family adopting their child will then help provide a better life for them. I understand that point. But guess what? I made a commitment to God when I met Vivianne and little Vivianna the first time (two years AFTER Andre came home from Haiti) that I would make sure that little girl was taken care of. So, stick it where the sun don't shine, UNICEF. I don't like you anyways. In fact I recently wrote a post called "Why I Hate Unicef" but I can't afford any negativity in my life so I chose to erase it and stop thinking about you for now.

ANYWHO...I am mostly thinking of Haiti every second...but I've been realizing that often I am worrying and crying about children in Haiti...all the while my little ones are whining or clamoring about me, begging for attention. That's no good. I love my children madly. I am so lucky to be their mother. Here's a little of what's been going on:

Lots of playing in the snow. In these photos the kids are playing with Tanner and Elle. Their mom, Patti, has been a best friend of mine since we were their AGES! For reals! And now we live in the same neighborhood and watch each others' kids and our kids like each other (most of the time). How cool is that?

Speaking of friends, our next door neighbors recently rented their house to the coolest family ever and they happen to have girls ages 8 and 5. Can you believe that? Right next door. And so nice and cute? It is truly an answer to prayer. My kids have had good friends but never ones close enough to just walk next door to. What a huge blessing!


Oh...and more "speaking" of friends...on days when I refuse the noise of any additional children and Deedle is just dying for a friend to play with...well...she can often convince the sweet, shy, and demure Britney to come over to play. After dressing Britney up in the appropriate attire, she even has to go outside and knock on the door to make the playdate official. I know some people find this very disturbing but it doesn't bother me in the least. Britney and Deedle never fight, whereas Loumy and Deedle rarely get along (despite Loumy's sincere and frequent prayers that a day can go by with out any fighting).
What else has been happening? Oh, yes, Moselle. Never say never. I always did and now look. This is Moselle. She was rescued by my nephew and his cute little wife but they couldn't keep her because of their buildings' pet restrictions and for some reason we decided to take her. I really don't know what possessed us, but...she is ours. And guess what? She's the easiest pet ever (easier and less stinky than a fish--I'm not even kidding!) and I actually like her. Weird. Never say never.

My Surrender/Fears Box Post

I received a phone call from the sweetest friend, Amy Dott. She told me about how she has a special surrender box in her closet. When she has something that is really worrying her and she can do nothing about it, she realizes that she must surrender the problem to the Lord. So, she writes it down on a piece of paper, puts it in the box, shuts the lid, then puts it on a high shelf--out of her reach and a little closer to heaven.

It has been 13 days since the earthquake hit Port au Prince. And when I opened up "my yahoo homepage", I was shocked to see that Haiti was no where in the news headlines. I know that people haven't forgotten so quickly, but it was still strange to me because I am still so consumed. Chancho is worried that I am obsessed and that my worries will begin to affect my health. I am trying not to be. I am trying to focus on the positives. I have decided that maybe if I write down some of the worries that are consuming me and surrender them to the Lord, then I will be able to feel a little better.

I am very angry with myself when I start allowing my inner turmoil about Haiti overcome me. I don't know how to explain it. When I think, "I am so sad," "I am so upset by this," "Oh this worries me so much," it kind of makes me sick at myself. Because this is not about ME or MY feelings. I want to say to myself, "So what?! Who cares? Don't you know what is going on in Haiti? Who cares that you feel sad or upset? How dare you waste your energies pitying yourself in this situation?! This is not about you and going around acting mopey is completely selfish! How dare you even think of drawing attention to yourself by being sad when all energies and thoughts and prayers should go to Haiti...not to you! Don't try to act like this is your tragedy. Stand up and be strong and get over yourself."

Then on the contrary, when I do stop thinking about Haiti and focus on something else, there is this voice that says, "How dare you be all happy about things? Don't you know what suffering is going on? Are you thinking about something else besides Haiti right now? How dare you! Don't you know that you must be praying ever single spare second for those you love who are suffering and whose whereabouts are unknown? Don't just go read a book or watch a regular TV show! You must worry about this 24/7!"

And then...my favorite scripture comes to me...as it has TIME AND TIME AGAIN. I don't know why I can't just learn this lesson once. I realize that what I am struggling with the most is FEAR. 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

When I remember this scripture, things clear up a bit. And with Amy Dott's surrender box in mind, I am going to write these things down to put into my own box, but it will be a "FEARS" box. Fear does me no good and doesn't come from God. There will always be times of grief and weeping, but I do not want to be consumed with fear. I want to be full of power and love and I want my mind to be sound. So...here are some of the fears that are plaguing me...

Heavenly Father, Today is Gardy's birthday. He was kidnapped on 6 Dec 2009. He spent his 3rd birthday with the people who stole him away from his family and still will not return him. Did they comfort him during the horrific quake and aftershocks? Are they taking care of him? When will he be home with his family? I tried to get the Marines to go in after him but the commander won't return my messages. Is there anything else I can do? If there is, please let me know. It looks like Little Miss Jess might not be coming home with her little brother to her loving parents. I don't understand why. How is it that your will is not the same as her parents in this? It seems so so wrong. Please help us to maintain hope and faith but also to surrender that which is out of our control and not to be full of fear.

I can't find Vivianne or her two baby girls. I have been trying. Her phone won't answer. Maybe it was just lost. Or maybe she made it out to the country side. My friend Nisthone has her photos and went to Delmas 33 to try to find her. Today he emailed "I begin to looking for her since this morning and I have some information. I would to confirm before." In the past 13 days, whenever somebody has told me that they have some info about a person but want to confirm it before they tell me...they think the person is dead. So, I feel scared. I've got to surrender to you on this one.We have been able to account for less than 40 of our 133 Haitian Roots children. Of those 40, we believe 5 of them are dead. I can't explain the love that I have for these children. Isson called last night and said that Harry believes that probably 60-70% of the children that he coordinates are dead. But he cannot confirm any of it right now because his plate is not only full to overflowing, but basically his plate is cracked and he is using every ounce of strength to keep what he can on that plate. When I see the faces of these children in my mind, the ugly tentacles of fear grip and claw at my heart. I surrender my fears to you, Dear God, and continue to pray...but with power and love and a sound mind.

Crutches for Haiti

So many people ask me what they can do and here is something:
When my friend Kristin, asked her husband, Dan, what was the worst thing he'd had to do since arriving in Haiti on Tuesday he responded, "amputations." With this in mind, some of Dan's family decided to start collecting crutches to send to Haiti and the docs there thought it was a great idea. If you have access to crutches, old ones you aren't using, etc, please help out:

So here is the plan...


BRONZE EFFORT: Check your garage, closets, attics for the forgotten set of crutches and get them to a drop off location. (Goto www.crutchesforhaiti.blogspot.com for locations.)
SILVER EFFORT: Send this email to your list of friends and family...the more the better!
GOLD EFFORT: Coordinate a similar collection at your workplace, school, or church. Just send us an e-mail (maryannfuhriman@msn.com) and we'll let you know how to get started. Remember we want to be done by Friday, January 29th. We'd like to launch all locations on Monday, January 25th.


We have coordinated getting the crutches to Haiti with "Healing Hands for Haiti" who already have a container ready to ship. Check out the blog www.crutchesforhaiti.blogspot.com to see why we decided to do this as well as other logistical information.


FYI
Crutches need to be in working order with tips and pads (they are very hard to replace)
Healing Hands for Haiti has also indicated the GREAT need for wheelchairs and pediatric walkers. We'll take those too if you happen to have them

Haitian Roots Update

Interested in what's going on with Haitian Roots? Check out the blog post on our home page.

The CUTEST Plea EVER!

I had the opportunity to work with and become good friends with the family who adopted these darling twin boys from Haiti. Check out their plea. Make sure to watch all of it!

Loving Haiti Hurts

I have been dying to get back to Haiti for quite some time but haven't felt right about leaving Finn yet. I originally thought that by January I would go but then I still didn't feel right about it. Yesterday I finally decided that I am ready to go and will be going the last week of February. I felt totally happy, at peace, and excited. I couldn't wait to get to Haiti. My friend Mary and my nephew Adam were committed to going and felt as excited as I did.

This morning I received an e-mail from my friend Nisthone. He thanked me profusely for a small amount of money that I sent him as an advancement on some artwork he is doing for Haitian Roots. I told him that I can't wait to see him in February. He promised that he and all of his craftsmen would be working hard to get the artwork complete.

A few hours later the largest earthquake in the history of the area hit Port au Prince. 7.0 magnitude. Horrendous. Devastating. Disastrous. Catastrophic. Very few details are known yet. There is no electricity in Port au Prince. Almost all communication is down. CNN is getting most of their reports from a few photos that have been able to get posted to Facebook and tweet pic. They look something like this:Faces of the people I love keep swirling through my mind. It is now total darkness but there are screams. Every once in awhile a cheer will erupt as somebody has been rescued from the rubble. My children my children my children. I am so so sick. I had all kinds of things I was ready to post--happy and good and fun things. But now I cannot breathe and the thoughts and perhaps some of the actual energy from those in the middle of the suffering is suffocating me.

What Finn Can Do...

Have I ever said anything on this blog about how I am so totally infatuated and in love with my baby? Haha. Well, I still am.

Finn had a drs appointment for his 9-month well baby visit on 29 December. He weighed 20 pounds 12 ounces and was 29 inches long! Amazing!

He certainly has taken to growing. He is taking his time in his gross motor development. Part of it is that he was born early, and part of it, I'm sure, is just his personality. He is so laid back. According to the "normal development" paperwork I received at his appointment, by this age, "babies are starting to pull themselves up to stand". Finn...not so much...however he has pretty much mastered the sitting up thing. And just this past week he has, occasionally, pulled himself forward with his arms towards something...the beginnings of a crawl. My brother (his pediatrician) has absolutely no worries about his development and neither do I. Every child is different.

Finn does make some good sounds--not anything meaningful yet, but super cute. I love to watch him play with his toys. He is fascinated by baby toys. With my other kids, it often felt like I was trying to find something that might possibly distract them for a short amount of time. But with Finn, giving him a toy is something that might truly make him the happiest baby you've ever seen. He looks at things with such scrutiny...puts them in his mouth...looks again...turns it over...hits it...scrutinizes it more. I love it. And he still cannot avoid smiling at anybody who will catch his eye--but especially his Mama (next would be Deedle, then Daddy, then the other two kids).

He received just one present on Christmas morning but it was definitely a winner. Here he is, having just pulled off a piece of the paper. He was fascinated with the texture and colors and had to taste it before his siblings convinced him to keep on opening. Keeping his eye on the prize. Once the present was out of the box, I could not get him to look up for a picture for a good two minutes. When I did get him to look at me, I got one of these before he turned back to the lights, sounds, and rattlings.His smile is the best and it now includes SIX teeth. I have another picture where you can see them in all their glory that I took on my NEW CAMERA :) !!! I will post as soon as I figure it out.

My sister, Nancy, has a little boy just 3 months older than Finn. I can't wait for them to be best friends. It won't be all that long before they truly notice each other and then want to play with together. Nancy just posted this about her little Jesse walking. How cute are those videos? SO cute! I thought you might enjoy seeing what Finn is doing these days. haha.