This Girl

Its funny that I haven't spent much of any time blogging about this girl lately.  Its strange that I haven't because I am with her all day every day.  I have done some blogging in the past about a few of the issues Addie faces.  Maybe I haven't talked so much about her "issues".  I think I've talked about her behavior.  Very angry.  Socially very young.  She would often fight with Miles and the way they would talk to each other was as if they were the same age--though she was 8 and he not even 3.  Lots of sadness and unjust-ness came from Addie.  And then around Christmas time I felt like we really started to find some answers.  We started to figure out what her "issues" actually were and some new tools to help deal with those things and help improve her behavior and overall feelings about daily life.   I felt things were beginning to improve.  However she seemed extremely emotionally vulnerable and sometimes when people are like that then mean people seem to feel it and gravitate towards that vulnerability.  Some things were happening with kids at school that were really bothering me.

Then in March, Jason and I came back from the his work trip to Cancun.  Jason's mom had been babysitting and wrote down all that Addie had told her after a particularly bad day at school.   It was a Sunday night and Addie begged not to go to school the next day.  S I told her she could stay home and then...I didn't send her back.  We hadn't even discussed Homeschooling her and then, suddenly, there was the answer right in front of my face.

I love having Addie by my side.  It brings me so much peace.  She is learning a lot with out tons of direction.  With only a few months left in the school year, I didn't go crazy with setting up a big curriculum.  We're focusing on reading, writing, and Math.  I keep waiting to feel so overwhelmed by it.  But then I don't.  She is by my side and safe and that makes me so happy.  I am overwhelmed by a lot of other things, of course, but having Addie home with me eases my anxiety rather than adding to it.  I do not know what the future holds and sometimes THAT gives me anxiety.  We do have her registered, along with Grace and Andre, to start at our new local elementary school next fall.  I've visited the school and spoke with the principal.  A bus will come pick the kids up at my front door!  I think that she will go to school in the Fall and that everything will be normal and fine.  But maybe not.  Maybe I'll have to truly figure out this home school thing rather than just "winging it" as I feel I've done these last couple of months.  But I'm not even going to think about it because right now I am happy with the decision.  Thinking about homeschooling beyond the rest of this year scares me.

But back to this girl.  She is doing very well.  I don't know if others around us recognize it.  But she is happier.  I see it every day.