Hello from the Hospital

Those of you who know that I am in the hospital will be surprised, and delighted I'm sure (ha) to have a post from me. I am surprised and delighted that they have wifi since they only have a vcr and no dvd player in the room. Anywho, C brought me his laptop and I will now proceed to blog.

This morning I came to see the perinatalogist. Dr. Andres is the head of some dept here (I think all neonatalogy) and he saw me. First an ultrasound was done and I was hoping we would see more fluid. But there was none. I asked if she could give me a number since I'm all amniotic-fluid savvy now about how many cm mean what (8-20 good,4 not good which is what I was at before). Well, she said, "uuhh...maybe .8" "8? or point 8?" I ask incredulously. That would be POINT. So they put me on a non-stress test. Things looked okay with Finn's heart. Not fantastic but pretty good. I asked about the steroids and if they thought they were a good idea and the nurse did give me some betamethazone in my rear. I thought all was still okay and I would be going home to rest some more. But Dr. Andres came in to talk to me and told me a different story. One reason that Guy really likes Dr. Andres is that he does not overreact and is very conservative and careful with his recommendations. So, when he told me that I needed to be admitted to the hospital right then and that rather than waiting the normal 24 hours for the next betamethazone shot, we would only wait 12 before inducing the baby, I was in a bit of shock.

He actually let me leave to come home and get things a little more together. Luckily C was already with me at the appt. We went and got SC from school. Of course today was the last day of the book fair, so we had to go to the lunchroom and buy the promised books before going to the hospital. We bought two Star Wars books for Loumy to help get him excited to read more and boy did it work. He told every nurse here about them--a couple of times. We also went to get some lunch at Chiles as a family since I knew I wouldn't be eating once I arrived at the hospital. I couldn't really eat for the nervous stomach but managed.

Anywho...I was quite a mess when I arrived. I tried to be calm but my blood pressure was way up and my pulse was about 120 for quite awhile. But once I was actually admitted and hooked up to the monitors and everything, I calmed down a lot and began to focus more on all of the blessings of having a baby in this day and age. I have now been here for about 10 hours. The kids bored quickly and C took them to sleep over at his parents house. About 3 hours ago I "received" some medicine called something like cervidel that is supposed to do stuff to my cervix. My sisters, Amy and Kathy were here. Then I got a call that came from my brother's house.
Me: blah blah blah...everything that happened, is happening...blah blah blah...my amniotic fluid, my cervix, blah blah blah
Kathy: why is she talking to Chris about her cervix? he doesn't want to hear that!
Amy: i know. gross.
Me: i'm not talking to chris, duh. i'm talking to priscilla and she adores my cervix.

I received the second steroid shot just minutes ago. It is now 12:15am on the 14th. My little son will be born today. I know tons of people are praying for us. Chancho and my dad gave me a very wonderful blessing. I've received nice calls and text messages (which Chancho reminds me cost us .15 cents each and I remind him to 'shut it'. j/k)

So, anywho, I feel quite calm at the moment. I have a headache, probably from stress and high blood pressure, but other than that I am quite physically comfortable. Now it is just time for me to wait and try to maybe get some sleep. ??? There are many things to worry about. So many unknowns. I will write a few of them down and try to leave them down:
*will Finn tolerate the pitocin?
* will I need a c-section?
*how will i be able to handle seeing my baby immediately whisked off to NICU rather than just being cleaned off and then handed all snuggly and new to me.
* will these steroids help his lungs? will he need to be on a respirator? will he be able to eat at all? will he need a feeding tube? will i be able to pump okay so he can eventually breastfeed? will his kidneys be okay? will his heart be okay? will he have to stay here for weeks and weeks? how will i be able to go home and have to leave him here? will i be able to hold him? and more...

When feeling an excess of worry, I have thought about two super super superficial things that make me feel happy. You will probably all think less of me for these two thoughts that have brought me comfort:
1. I weigh 30 pounds less right now than I did when SC was born. Yippee! So much less weight to lose!
2. When I leave I get to go buy new little baby preemie clothes! Have you seen those? Pretty much anything in preemie size is soooo cute. And I will buy whatever the heck I like because if you think that an extra few outfits on top of these NICU bills are going to be a drop in the bucket...well...anyway, I'm shopping for preemie clothes and it will be fun!

The other bigger blessings that I will now focus on the things that bring me peace:
* holy cow, what a miracle to live today. if i was my grandma or even my mom, baby and possibly me would both have just been dead.
* pain medicine!
* i am surrounded by really great drs and nurses. i am so lucky.
* i will see my baby tomorrow
* a tender mercy--the labor and delivery was super crazy this afternoon for some reason. when i got here they were cleaning the only room that had just become available for me. #9. thank you aunt joan.
*my son will survive. he will.

Peace out.