I have dealt with a condition called Alopecia Areata for almost 20 years now. Quick definition: Alopecia is a genetic auto-immune disease which causes hair loss. I found my first bald patch when I was 14. For the last 19 years I have experienced every stage of loss. I have had many years of patches coming and going, I lost all of the hair on my scalp 10 years ago, then it regrew 18 months later. I had some patches after the births of my two daughters. Then it grew back. Then I had a crazy case of Hep A which I contracted at the time I brought my little Haitian son home. I was sick for many months and I again lost all of my hair. It has now been over 2 years and no signs of regrowth. I have also lost my eyebrows, lower eyelashes, nose hairs, cilia in my ears and lungs, and patches over the rest of my body.
For a woman living in a society where looks are so important and seem to equate our worth, it has been a struggle. But I've grown a lot, I hope. I still fight the fight. I hope and pray it grows back. But I've been able to get to a place where I feel okay to look at myself in the mirror. It is my goal to be able to look at my reflection at any time and say, "That's me and I'm okay however I look." And that is my challenge to each of you who happens upon my post. Our weight may go up and down. Our skin may look beautiful or really blotchy. We may have beautiful hair or we may not. But that reflection in the mirror is not who you truly are. If you don't believe me, dig a little deeper.
Today at dinner Grace touched her bruised cheek then looked at Jason and said, "Oh, dad...I think this is going to hurt until my resurrection." I had to quickly cover my mouth with a napkin and fake a cough so she wouldn't hear me laugh. But it also touched me to know that somewhere inside her is the understanding that the things of this life are temporary.
This photo is a picture of me with my Dad. He also has Alopecia Areata and I inherited it from him. Sometimes he feels guilty about this but if I have inherited anything else of his intellect or compassion then the Alopecia is certainly worth it. I like to see the love he has for me on his face and to think about how much more my other Father (in Heaven) loves me. When I remember these things, I know how badly they want me to be happy for this short time I have on this Earth. I can look at this photo and I am not disgusted any longer by what I see. It helps me have more of a proper perspective.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Proper Perspective
Posted by Perla at 10:13 PM
Labels: alopecia areata, children, gospel
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12 comments:
Very Beautiful Shan! You and what you wrote.
Shanny, I am so glad you put this on here. It is beautiful and thought provoking. I love you so much. You truelly areone of the most couragious people I have ever met. Not to mention my BFF! Meg
Hi Shanny,
First the photo is wonderful and expressive of a father/daughter relationship.
I to have had alopecia since 1991 and have also went through the struggles of living in a society that is very uncomfortable with anything that is not considered "normal". To get to a place of self-acceptance in those circumstances, like you said takes a deeper look into ourselves and what we chose to believe is true just because everybody says it is. Living my life bald I find I have dispelled many myths and lies that I even told myself. Such as I would no longer look like a woman, a man would never look at me again, I could not possibly go out in public like this, could not go to work like this... all these myths I and many other alopecian have continued to disproved. We set up in our mind so many "impossibles" and if they are never challenged we create for ourselves such a small world. We break through them we start to see such a larger, more inviting world.
Take care,
Cheryl
www.alopeciaandlove.com
Shannon, Meg sent me your blog and I just had to say that you are so beautiful! I love this picture of your and your Dad. It truly makes me realize how beautiful you really are! Anyway...Thought I'd just take some time to let you know! Love It!
Nicole "Meg's Friend"
Nicole, if you happen back upon my blog then THANKS! It is nice to hear from you! I don't have your e-mail to be able to send you a reply. How are you???
Shannon, I love you. You are a beautiful person inside and out. I hope that you will always know that...no matter what. You inspire me and everyone whose life you touch, even briefly.
I really like your whole blog, but this touched me. That is such a great way to see yourself and your dad, mostly has God sees you. Enlightenment! What next?? You do a lot of good in this world and I am sure more in the future, right here in Perla's Parlor! I am glad u r blogging...come see mine I will post yours on my site.
P.S. I can't figure out how to post music. Tell me please
Thank you, Shan! There's no need to say more.
But look at how goregous you are! I love that photo of you and Gordo. I'm so glad that you aren't one of those superficial people who is only concerned about looks. I think that makes you strong and awesome!
Shannon - I think you have exquisite features.
I should ask you to come speak to my YW group... Do you do that??
Thanks for all you do for us! We're very grateful for you.
Shannon,
You are one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever known.... and I mean that in every possible way. I miss you constantly. And think of you more than you will ever know.
You are me....only better :)
I miss you.
Love,
Jodi
Oh, thanks, Jodi! I am so happy you came to find me. Now that I understand the world of blogs a bit more, I am excited to stay in much better touch. I love you, too!
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