Brothers

Before we decided to adopt Loumy we were in the process of adopting our first son, Isaiah Christian, when he passed away. It was extremely difficult for me. Because the birth mother had completely relinquished her rights and according to the Haitian courts he was ours, I have always felt that he was my son and we were able to perform a sacred church ceremony to have him a part of our forever family. I do not talk about Isaiah very often because my feelings and the experiences I have had surrounding this first son of mine are very sacred to me. But just because I never talk about him does not mean he is ever far from my thoughts. I have felt his presence with me often. I believe that he is very noble and that he came to our family and needed to be sealed to us for a purpose. When he is near me, I draw strength from him and feel loved. I have no doubt that he is my son. Never does anybody ask how many children we have or say, "Perfect, now you have 2 boys and 2 girls" with out me thinking of Isaiah. But I don't say anything. I don't feel the need to remind or tell anybody else about this first son. I hold him in my heart and prefer to keep him safe there.

Anywho...that is the background for the fact that I wanted to share how much Loumy loves his brothers. I never bring up Isaiah but he and Deedle, especially, think of him and talk about him all of the time. I answer their questions candidly but do not egg on the conversation. But ever since Finn entered his life, Loumy has been very interested in knowing BOTH of his brothers. And I think that knowing about Isaiah has been and will be very therapeutic for him. Loumy knows that Isaiah was also born in Haiti and that he also grew in another woman's tummy. He knows that Isaiah was in his same orphanage and he insists that they were "friends" when they were babies, even though their time in the orphanage would have only overlapped for about a month while Loumy was an infant. But what do I know? In fact, I wrote this post yesterday and then last night while I was out for a walk I was thinking about it and the thought came to me that most likely Isaiah was with Loumy for his entire stay at the orphanage. After all, my constant prayer was that he would be surrounded by angels. When this thought came to me, I suddenly burst out laughing like, "duh, of course!" Luckily nobody was around to hear the crazy girl laughing by herself on the street.

Loumy has never seen a photo of Isaiah but yesterday he was looking at some photos on our fridge and turned to me and said, "Mom, my brother Isaiah has brown skin like me, right?" It seemed to mean so much to him to know that somebody else in our family had so many things in common with him. Then he said, "I wish I could see a picture of him..." So, when I finished up dinner I told him to come with me and I got out my photo of Isaiah to show him. "This is your brother," I said and his eyes lit up. He stared at it for a very long time. He then made me promise that I would make a copy of the photo that he could have for his very own to keep in a special place.Loumy's life seems to be more content and full just knowing that he has brothers. He loves to hold Finn. He loves to kiss his head and is very gentle around him. He will talk to him in a very soft voice and will constantly laugh at the faces Finn makes or the way he moves his hands or the sounds he makes. He loves to tell me about all the things he is going to teach Finn one day. Here are some of the things he has mentioned that he will teach him: "how to be nice, how to play 'boy stuff', how to get dressed by himself, what 1 + 1 is, about Star Wars, and he will be Obe Wan or Anakin and I'm going to be Mace Windu, and teach how to give treats to people, when I know how to read I'll teach him how to read, how to zip, how to do things in Star Wars games, how to use a light sabre."

Here are some of my favorite photos of the brothers from our shoot with Amy last week.