Three Weeks in Texas

This morning marks 3 weeks that I have woken up in our new digs in Texas. I was writing to a friend this morning and realized that what I was telling her are really things that I need to write down and save. I feel like I need to really just let out a big shout of GRATITUDE to God and to all of you who have and are praying for us.

Basically what I want to share is this: the move has been easy. I know that there are a lot of trials that I need to have and I'm still going through plenty of them. This pregnancy has been the hardest I've had, by far. I'm still nauseated almost all hours of the day, with only minimal relief from Zofran and Promethazine. I guess the good of that is that I am large, but I actually can still wear all of my jeans from pre-pregnancy. This is the least weight I've ever gained up to this point (30 weeks!!!). I have also had various other health problems including injured ribs (don't know if they have some cracks or just pulled muscles and tendons) that make almost any movement painful, a colitis flair up, continued struggles with asthma (induced by the bronchitis), and other infections. But it is all okay. I know that this little girl was meant to come to our family and I feel so blessed that I am already 30 weeks and that I feel her move all of the time and am confident that she is healthy. Hopefully it will stay that way. It was about a week after this time that things started going badly for Finn, but there is no indicator that anything will happen with this pregnancy, only the statistics that say that chances of another preterm baby are higher.

Anywho...on to the move. Every time I've felt like, "I'm really just going to freak out now. This is too much..." I wait...and then I don't. I feel buoyed up. It always comes to my mind that I have lots of prayers just keeping me up and at peace. I am almost shocked that we could pack up from the only place I've ever called home (the only time I lived outside of the Ogden area was on my mission, and that was never "home", and I lived my entire life before marriage in the same house--most of that in the same room!); leave my parents, in-laws, siblings, and life-long friends; drive 24 hours to a new state and city; new, smaller house; new ward; put my kids in a new school; and just feel mostly PEACE. Wow. Is that a miracle or what? I know that there are reasons that we need to be here. It is not that we were discontent or are looking for something we didn't have. For me, personally, it was simply that the Lord wanted us to come here so we did.

There are many times where we do what we're supposed to do and it is still really hard. I remember thinking, kind of self-righteously I see now, after we finally brought Loumy home from Haiti, "Wow! That was SO hard! I can't believe we made it through that and got him home. I think our little family is ready for some smooth sailing for awhile now." Ha! I then began the hardest journey (AKA scariest nightmare) of my life, which lasted 2 years until I even came close to feeling some stability. Most of you know my story, but in a nutshell, my physical and mental health completely deteriorated and I felt as though I was in the depths of hell. Although I have learned so much from what I went through during that time, I think I have some PTSD from it (not joking) and when I allow my mind to think about the endless days of physical pain, or the times when slashing at my arms with a sharp butcher knife was the only thing that could dull the pain in my mind--well...I feel really sick to my stomach, say a prayer of thanks that it is over, and turn my thoughts to another place!

This move, though, has been pretty much nothing but a blessing. I've had a couple of down days, but most days, even when its cold, a bright, gorgeous sunshine has come out by 8am and I just cannot feel gloomy. I feel like the Lord is patting me on the head and saying, "There there, Little One. You did what I asked and this time I'm going to make it easy on you."

And so, here we are! The kids are in school and are doing great. SC already earned an award at her school. There are behavioral "colors" that the kids receive each day. None of them has received anything other than the highest--a GREEN. They have made fun friends in the neighborhood and they love their cousins. The new ward is great. I'm already scheduled to teach Gospel Doctrine for the next two weeks and then Relief Society on the 20th of Feb, and that is a little hard, but also makes me feel accepted. The Lord gave me Catherine, 3 houses away, to be my friend every day, and all of the other loved ones I already wrote about in a previous post...

Oh, I forgot to mention something SUPER important. Chancho really likes his job! He didn't even come down for an interview before being hired, so we were really taking a shot in the dark. I remember his time working for Tomax in SLC. He was so miserable. Weekends were a sad time because he'd try to enjoy them but mostly there was this dread that Monday was coming. This company has been great and, although it may not be the most exciting work, he seems happy and feels that there are some good opportunities for growth here. The company seems to already be relying on him and trusting him and wanting to advance him. So, that is great.

A funny thing about Chancho's job. He is currently working in one large conference room, at a large conference table with about 10 other guys. He is the only white guy. I think most of the others are Indian. At first he said he felt a pressure not only to perform well to represent himself, but he felt he was representing his "entire race". Haha. Also, this makes me laugh: The guys are all very kind, but not super talkative. They are also very still. The lights in his office go on by sensor. The also turn off by sensor. He said that sometimes there will be such stillness for so long that the lights will go off. Nobody seems to notice, so he'll have to start waving his arms around to get the lights to come back on.

Well, that is enough for now. I will have to post some photos of our house. Its starting to feel like a home.

Thanks to all of you who have helped make this transition as smooth as it has been so far, whether you helped us to move, have prayed for us, or have welcomed us so warmly here.