I Dreamed You

Over mountains I floated away
Across an ocean, I dreamed your name...
Now I'm walking this street on my own
But she's with me everywhere that I go
Yeah, I found an angel, I found my place
I can only thank God it was not too late!"

Post Script for Baby

Of course now there is still a question. What if this baby I saw on the ultrasound today is a boy? I was very adamant to all of the temple worker that night four years ago that there are no boys named Sarah. Sarah is definitely a girl, I told them, until they agreed. So, what if this baby is a boy? Hm...that is a very good question. I get so excited when I think about my baby girl. I think that I will still feel that she is missing if she isn't coming now. But would that mean we'd have to have or adopt another child? Or was the dream and everything just warming me up to the idea of having another baby?

It really doesn't matter. I totally believe that the children that are meant to come to our families will eventually come to them. For some of my family and friends, creating a family has been and is an excruciatingly difficult process. For others, it seems the babies just keep coming no matter what they do (Kelly's sister-in-law became pregnant with twins while she had an IUD when she already had 3 kids under the age of 5). It all can seem so strange and unfair when you don't have an eternal perspective on things.

So, I will try to keep that perspective. I trust that God knows who is meant to be a part of my family. Because of my feelings, I hope that it is my little Sarah. But if it is not, I'm sure that I will be more than thrilled to meet my new son!

Some of the Things I See

Last year at this time Chancho was considering a career change that would take us to another state. I fancied we'd go to Texas and even had fun looking on-line at houses. Several months later we decided that the career change wasn't the way to go but we still felt ready for a change. So, we put our house up for sale and I started looking for places to move. With this pastime I began to grow more and more discontent with my current surroundings. Later we decided not to move. And now I am very glad. I believe that unless you CAN do something about a situation or PLAN to do something about a situation, then you shouldn't complain about it. And I'm trying to stick to that motto.

One cool thing about starting this blog is that I realize I am always looking for good things--good memories that I want to keep. And as I have looked for the good, my eyes have been more opened to the awesome blessings that surround me, and as my eyes are opened, I see more good, and that makes me feel more blessed. Its a pretty awesome circle.

Nancy recently moved from her home in Washington to another state and did a good job documenting a lot of her good memories of that place. One post in particular inspired me. It helped me to think about the things that I would miss if we didn't live here. I don't want to have to move from here before I realize what beauty surrounds me (I'm not saying that is what Nancy did but just that I have been here for 6 years and am maybe not as grateful for all of the positives as I should be).

So, anyway, like Nancy, I decided to take my camera with me out for my morning run (or more often it has been a nice walk, or when the kids are with me a varying amount of very slow walking and then sprinting to catch them). We often go to the gym but any time the weather is nice, I would so much rather be outside. And for the past several weeks you couldn't ask for more perfect weather!

Due east of our home are some federally protected wetlands. A river runs in a northern direction and has a paved path along it for several miles. As I took my camera, I didn't think about the things that I don't like about the trail (when you can hear the train racing past on the other side of the river, the barbed wire fences as you pass the trailer park, the stink and the sounds of the highway overhead as you cross underneath). Rather, I focused on the beauty and was amazed that everything had become even more gorgeous than I remembered. So, come along with me and enjoy the things that I get to see each morning!

First, heading straight out the door, this is what you'll see. Just walk to the end of this little block (the big pine at the end) and turn right.

You will then see this cool sign that Mike Argyle made. He does all kind of cool ironworks.
Follow the dirt path for about a block and cross a little stream where kids like to go catch tadpoles .Then you will arrive at the paved path which runs north and south.
Go South and soon you will be seeing beautiful sights like this:

And this:After about 1.5 miles you will be past the wetlands and will see a nice little grassy area:And if you're very lucky, you may just see my cute dancing Nancy #2!You will mostly see Russian Olive and Cottonwood trees, but you'll also see a cool tree like this and you'll think, "I wish Mom was here. She would tell me exactly what kind of tree this is. Choke Cherry? Who knows. Only Mom."You'll see lots of cute moms out with their strollers on the trail and letting their little ones play by the river.You'll see beautiful flowers and weeds that you don't want growing on your lawn (unless you are Heather D) but love to see out here:You will stop several times to pick up these and toss them into the dirt so that they don't get crushed or dry out before they make it across the pavement. And when Deedle asks what you are doing you will say, in a very profound voice, "Deedle, I may not be able to save all of these snails but for that one...I made all of the difference." And you'll chuckle a little to yourself.And if you fool around with the manual mode on your cheap camera for long enough, you may finally take a really cool photo that you like of these berries (and again you'll wish Mom was around so that she could either remind you again why you should not eat those poisonous berries OR will tell you that if you are ever lost in the wilderness to look for these exact berries to keep you alive. I can't remember which she would say.):And on the mornings that the littles don't have preschool, you will see this:And you'll also see this as you make your mandatory stop at the spot the kids have to throw rocks. You won't mind because you know that the next day you can work out harder while they are in school and you'll also know that before too long they won't think it is cool at all to go with you and throw rocks in the river. Oh, and you will also wonder how it is that your daughter throws like this:Yet your son throws like this: I hope you've enjoyed this little adventure. See how lucky I am to live where I live?

Who's Your Buddy?

Today I was cleaning out a desk and found a box full of photos. Back in the day before digital cameras, I would always get double-prints and often the extras ended up in this box. Most of these photos happened to be of String Cheese, since we got a digital shortly after Deedle came along.

I felt an overwhelming amount of joy and gratitude as I ran across some photos of String Cheese as an infant or toddler with some really great friends. I just sat in awe for a minute and thought, "That is really a miracle that these kids are still such good friends to her!" (Maybe it is not a miracle that they still know each other because some of them are cousins and others are children of my friends, but I think it is a miracle that they are growing up to like each other so much!)

SC is nearing her 7th birthday. There are so many things I want for her. Good friends is something that I pray for often, especially this year as she spends so many hours away from me for the first time and is so much more influenced by other children now. She has a lot of good friends that are new, but the joy I felt came from realizing how many friends she has that are OLD. I realize that is all relative when you are dealing with a first grader.

Anyway, I found these photos and then went through some albums to find a few more. Every one of these children is somebody that SC loves, talks about, and has had the chance to hang out with at least in the last couple of months, if not the last couple of days.

So, do you know who any of these buddies are with my little Princess String Cheese?Note to Princess String Cheese: No matter what happens in the future with your other buddies, these next two are there for you forever and ever and ever.

Haitian Roots

Some of you have asked about this Haiti education deal that I am involved with. Many of you already know about it. But, too bad. I am going to Haiti in 5 weeks, so I've kind of been going crazy excited to see all my kids again! And I've been listening to Cold Play today a lot and for some reason all of their music makes me totally think of Haiti and causes me to dream all kinds of things and sometimes makes me cry about Haiti. I don't know why Cold Play does that. It has just somehow become my Haiti music.

Anyway, I will try to keep this version very abbreviated.

Haitian Roots was originally inspired by him:When we brought Loumy home, we felt very bad about all of the other children left suffering in Haiti. Chancho said it would be cool if one day we were able to start some kind of foundation or something to help provide educational opportunities for some of the children. I said, "Sure, that would be awesome to do...some day...when our kids are older...and I am healthy...and we have a lot of money." God said, "Nope. Do it now."

So, we talked to some of our best friends, Isson and Marie France. They are from Haiti and have a great passion for their country, having only left because they were forced to for safety reasons (super cool story that maybe I can tell some day).With the four of us, we decided to give it a try. We worked with some of Isson and MF's family members in Haiti and got things arranged and set a goal to sponsor 20 kids for school. It costs around $250 for a child to attend school in Haiti. But the average Haitian family lives on only $300/year. So, as you can imagine, school is not an option for a huge number of children. We were blessed and amazed to find that there are lots and lots of people that also want to do good things but aren't sure the avenue they want to use. We were quickly able to raise the money for 23 kids to go to school. This is our very first group of children:Our next year we sponsored 56 children and our third year we were up to 115. We are starting our fourth year and things are going great. We still have 115 kids and our next goal is to start our own school.

I love Haiti and the kids there so much. I love that so many other people feel the same way and feel inspired to want to become involved. We have a lot of really cool people now participating on the Haitian Roots team and lots of others who are pretty staunch supporters. I am able to lean on them when I get worried about how we will meet our next goal, and they lean on me, too. Here are some other reason my dream stays alive:
Me and Joveline.
Some kids at a group home for rescued slave children in Haiti. Don't they look happy? Look close and you will see bruises, knocks, scars, and burn marks all over their bodies.Christella, Francesca, Sariah, and Sarah. Could they be any more beautiful?"My boys!" Max and Jacky. I love them!Orphanage full of thirsty kids. It is HOT in Haiti!It is truly a miracle and a blessing to be able to have these children in my life. Feeling like, "Hm, I really should make a donation!" ? Just click here!

Growing Up

Most of the time, it seems like our kids grow up quite gradually. Other times, I am left almost speechless.

Here is a cute picture of Deedle and Loumy starting preschool this year. Notice how Loumy insists on wearing his backpack "Diego " style? It wasn't much of a shock to my system because they both attended preschool together last year, as well. Other things have been quite a bit more shocking. As we sat at the dinner table and listened to String Cheese tell us about her assembly at school, what she had for lunch, the new method she is learning to use for math, her friends, etc. etc., Chancho and I both had the same overwhelming feeling hit us at the same time--this girl had suddenly grown up with out us noticing (or consenting)!

Then there is Deedle and her new fascination with sewing. We were over at my Mom's house the other day and she was helping the little ones make bean bags. I thought, "my kids are too little to try any type of sewing. They will just puncture their fingers and cry." But, no, they did great. And when we came home, Deedle wanted more. I wrote her name and the year on a little piece of fabric with a pencil and she embroidered it. And she loved it! This video might look boring but it was really fascinating for me to just sit and watch her. I kept thinking, "What is my baby doing with a needle and thread? How can she do that?" It makes me wonder how many other "big kid" things my little ones are probably perfectly capable of doing. I don't know that I am eager to find out. One can only take so much change at once!

A Day on the Town

Last Saturday we took our kids on an outing. We first drove to the train station and boarded the very same train that Chancho commutes to work on. The kids thought the train was awesome. Well, sometimes. Loumy said, "It wasn't really fun, just a little fun." Our area only began running a commuter train a few months ago and it is still a work in progress. Soon it is supposed to expand and go out to the airport as well as further south. So, it is quite the novelty to ride a train around here and there were tons of families riding it just for fun. I am grateful that Chancho rides the train to work for several reasons: 1. it is much safer, 2. it takes the same amount of time but since the train has Wi-Fi, he can actually start working the minute he gets on the train, so he gets to come home a little earlier than usual, and 3. he is not nearly as stressed when he gets home as when he used to have to often wait in traffic for 2 hours.
Here we are waiting for the train:Now we are all on the train:
Deedle Deedle Deedle:
Have I ever mentioned that Chancho doesn't like getting his picture taken? But he's so handsome, I had to let String Cheese snap some, even if he only made crazy faces (ever wonder where my girls got their beautiful blue eyes?):
Me with Loumy making his "el tigre" model face (Zoolander). And I have on my new wig that my friend Sarah cut for me.We rode for about an hour, then got off and took Trax, which SC insisted on calling, "the trolley" to the Gateway Mall. We went to the Children's Discovery Museum. It wasn't as big as I thought it was going to be, but it had a lot of fun, interactive stuff and the kids enjoyed it. Deedle loved the area that was full of balls and tunnels that you could send them through. String Cheese's favorite part was when she got to go into a sound booth and pretend she was a radio DJ. Loumy's favorite part was eating at McDonalds.


Loumy the mad scientist:
String Cheese thought the Life Flight helicopter was super cool. Loumy was supposed to be her injured patient but he just kept exploring instead of lying still on his stretcher:We ate and I thought our day would be through, but Chancho wanted to go see the Church History Museum and watch the movie, Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration (which shows for free in the JS Memorial Building every 1.5 hours). I didn't think the kids would make it, but they did really, really well. We didn't end up getting home until 10:30 or so, but I was really glad to be able to spend the day together doing some memorable things. Kind of a last she-bang before school started.

Chancho and I agreed that our favorite part was watching the Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration movie at the JS Memorial Building. It was a fantastic movie, very spiritual and the whole building is so beautiful, it creates a wonderful mood. String Cheese was in love with the beautiful bathroom and kept gushing, "look at these classy chairs! did you see those classy lamps?"

A couple of cool things that Loumy said that day:

* In the morning I asked, "Loumy, why aren't you wearing any pants?"
L: Because I took them off.

* Some guy at a Museum that we were talking to says to Loumy: You're 3? That's awesome! When do you turn 4?
Loumy: On my birthday.

* Loumy comes up to me crying with a very pinched looking finger.
Me: What happened?
Loumy (wailing): I bit my finger really hard.
Me: Ouch! ( I look at it and give him a hug) That looks like it hurts! How did you bite your own finger?
Loumy: With my teeth.